Dating from Afar....

******* This is not a blog something I have mastered, that I claim to be good at or wish upon anyone, however, if you have any more suggestions I'd love to hear and learn from them*******

As you probably know from reading this blog... my boyfriend lives far away... far, far, far, far, far awaway... 2,884 miles away to be exact! The other day someone asked me advice on dating long distance. Unfortunately, I have no advice... I hate it, a LOT!! I cannot wait for Oct 5th when I fly down to Oakland for him to pick me up. However, there are a few things that we have figured out.

The FIRST piece of advice that I was given was that you have to communicate your emotions and feelings. Even as hard as it would be to tell someone over the phone that your having a hard day or that your grumpy or something of that sort.... its good because they are able to cater to your needs. Just as if they were home and were able to see you tear up or see your facial expressions. It IS hard and IS some times awkward because they can't hug you or physically comfort you, but you will BOTH be able to communicate better. In the long run it will be helpful and during your time apart it will help you both a lot. (I may have butchered that explanation, but I hope it makes sense)

Okay.. so here are some of the things that we have done, that have either helped or at least preoccupied my mind in order to pass the time....

- Before he left for VA I wrote him letters and put them in a box, some of them I dated, some of them I labeled like "for a bad day"..... that way even if I get busy with life, he can be encouraged and know I'm praying for him.

- We wrote letters our first month apart, very intentional letters... we found a list of questions and discussed them in written form. It was amazing to get letters in the mail, they are the best, but it also allowed for great discussion in letters.

- Intentional conversation is important, we have found that it gets really easy to sit and talk about how much we love each other, miss each other and can't wait to see each other. That's doing nothing to further our relationship, but instead its just making the whole thing worse. Its okay to have those moments, but not EVERY conversation.

- We facetime.. a LOT and we're goofy, not everything has to be serious. Seeing each others face makes it feel as if we just hung out the other night, its fun :)

- We text... I find it fun to text him before I go to sleep because its a three hour difference, so when he wakes up there is a message from me.

- A package is NEVER a bad way to go... we're cheesy so we write cheesy notes on all the items. It's my favorite and is always fun to get a surprise package in the mail, even if the items are pointless and ridiculous (although, maybe one important item is good)

( My awesome package I got at Fuge!)

- sometimes its okay to just sit and vent, for the first month we either didn't want each other to know how much we were missing each other... or maybe the first month wasnt that hard, but as time passed it got harder. Sometimes we just sit and talk about how we can't wait to see each other and how much this sucks. I think it is important to state that sometimes... your both thinking it, so why not talk about it.

(However, the biggest part is that you can't dwell in that... yes, it sucks, but it'll pass)

- Make sure to inform each other of what is going... its kind of nice to be able to feel like your with each other... send a text or an email about the dinner you hand with a group of your friends... with LOTS of detail. If you have text, text DURING the event something funny that happened, you may think it'll make them miss home more, but really they already miss home at least they will feel like their part of the joke if it gets brought up later.

- One of the things I have loved is reading the same books or listening to the same pod cast... your lives are going to be SO different, its nice to have something you two are doing that is the same... even across the country.

- Be creative... one of my friends whose girlfriend lived in Africa while he lived in America planned movie nights and skype dates together. They would watch a movie and watch it "together"... we're trying it tomorrow, I can't wait.

- I might insert more, but thats what I can think of now, its more fun the more creative you can get.

however please, please please do NOT Don't become the bitter "my boyfriend lives far away girl", its almost as bad as the "pitty me I don't have a boyfriend girl"... It's very rare that distance sneaks up on a person... so if you don't think you can handle that, discuss it... maybe that relationship isn't for you. Thats OKAY... thats what dating is for.

I say all that to say this... It doesn't matter what you do or don't do if your hope is in your boyfriend/girlfriend. If your hope is Christ it wont matter where you are or your significant other is your joy will be ever lasting.

"²⁰ We wait in hope for the LORD;

he is our help and our shield.

²¹ In him our hearts rejoice,

for we trust in his holy name."

Psalm 18:20-21

Country Traveler...

Almost every summer since about Jr. High I have not been home, because I was blessed enough to travel. In Jr. High a lot of it consisted of camps and family, soccer camp, church camp, grandma's house... etc. In High School I spent a month in Europe, two weeks in China and endless weeks at camp. In College I haven't been as privileged to travel, but this summer was a traveling experience like i've never seen before!
It started on a very early, very dark June morning as I boarded a plan from Ontario to Dallas. If you know me you understand that flying is not my favorite thing, but flying from Dallas to Tennessee was a totally new experience. After a long ride to Dallas, a tram ride and a slight fear that I might miss my plane I boarded a three row plane and headed for Knoxville, TN. There I was greeted by Stacey, who quickly became one of my favorite staffers. I hoped in a car with Thad, Brandon and Samantha and headed to Jefferson City, TN to start life as a.... Fuge Staffer!
Fuge was amazing, but very challenging. I spent my first week learning how to run Rec, how to teach bible studies and how to cater to students and situations I may come into contact with. We also spent a lot of time bonding as a staff, it was definitely challenging, but very fun. Getting use to the weather, the culture and the students was more of a challenge than I thought, but It was well worth it. Week one there was a little boy that I feel in love with, his name I can't remember, I just called him "Bear" because he had longer surfer hair and looked like a bear. It'd been a rough week and I was trying really hard to get everyone ready for Mega, when Bear ran up to me and asked if he could tell the group something. Now, if any of you have worked with 6th graders you know that getting them all together, but I did. Then Bear in front of everyone shouted "Tonight I became a Christian". That was the highlight of my summer.
The next few weeks I learned a lot, met a lot of cool people and I'll be able to blog randomly, but when I think about it, thats what matters, is the little kids that go home and get to say "I'm a Christian".

(These are my ladies, I miss them a lot.... Jenny, Dee, Jennifer, Nic Nak, me and Leah)

Oh lordy my staff, and if you look carefully my horrible, horrible tan line :) (Jennifer, Brandon, Jenny, Danny and Jon)

(Me and Sam on the hottest part of the summer!... this was day one of registration)